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Friday, August 20, 2010

Romantic Idealist? Yes, please.

I was recently "accused" of being a romantic idealist. My friend did not mean it in a negative way, and I did not take it as such. Rather, I am quite content with the idea.

See what we mean here?

This formation of my mind, however, did not come about from the classic hammer and chisel. Though Jane Austen will always be one of my favorite authors, I did not come to her until late in life. Although my class on Renaissance Culture (art, literature, philosophy, history) certainly encouraged me, that, too, came after the original seeds were planted.

Then, what was it, exactly, that placed my mind on such high precipices, and convinced it that nothing, absolutely nothing, should even bring it down?

I am not entirely sure.

I can recount these things for you.
As a little girl, my mother highly encouraged my imagination. Anything that I could pretend, I did. This included (most often) being "Robin Hood" or "Peter Pan" and rescuing my damsel in distress (try not to judge, I just like being heroic.. another sign of idealism). I never had a gender identity crisis, but I certainly saw valour, honor, courage and defending justice as prized qualities. Once again, this does not explain how I became the idealist, for already I was chosing ideals I wanted to live for.

I attribute much of this romanticism to my Catholic upbringing. Let's be serious, Scripture if flooded with romantic language and the very highest of ideals. Also, saints lives, given up for love of another, certainly gave me an example I wished to follow. The rest I would leave to my personality, because as I recently wrote, beauty has always captivated me, and the romantic ideals that still hold me are those that are true, good and beautiful.

One may ask, does this idealism leave you as one who is irrational or impractical? Sometimes. I am certainly balanced, because I force myself to acknowledge the truth in any situation and be as aware as possible of the reality of things. Yet, why think of my cubicle that I am currently sitting in as a windowless-rectangle that I sit in for hours on end? Why not focus on the glorious achievements for the Kingdom of God we all hope to accomplish that keep us toiling away at our menial daily tasks? I'll take curtain number two, thank you.

The point is, my romantic disposition means that if there is no sacrifice involved, I probably won't think it's valuable. If it isn't hard, it may not be worth my time. This could be seen as masochistic, but it isn't. It's idealistic. I can't help but find challenges inspiring and tackling them to be the greatest reward. This kind of thinking has kept me going in many frustrating and scary times of life when only the fun of taking  on the (literal) "game of life," keeps me fighting back. This mentality also buoys the spirit on any given cold, rainy, dark or dreary day. Basically, I will find something ficticous and imaginative to surround any given day of my life. Dramatic? Yes. I know very well no one is going to watch me go dance in the pouring rain. I know no perfect "Mr. Right" is going to sweep in while I'm dancing and start singing to me (thank goodness). I will still go dance in the rain. I have and I will again. Let's just be honest here - it feels beautiful. Being sick afterwards might not feel so great, so go take a warm shower. But the point is, do things. Experience things. Live out what magic you can create.

I will, of course, insist on prudence, responsibility, committment, etc... These things are highly prized and valued and I will most often be calm and rational in my decision making, especially when others aren't. Even then, however, I am most likely secretly thinking about how my "not-giving-into-fanciful-wishes" is a martyrdom or something dramatic like that. It's all interior, but if I can't find some amount of heroism, it seems less-than-worth my time.

Anyway, I feel there's been far too much "me" and "I" in this post. The idea behind the ideas is to love ideas. God, Father and Creator, loved ideas to the point of giving them life. They came to be. They continue to be. We are held in existence as we are held in his thoughts. He wills us, and we are. Will we not join him, participating in small ways, in being creative lovers and thinkers?

Christ, the Son, is the living Word of God. All of his life is a manifestation of the gorgeous power of true love. We should participate in this! We should hope to, and yearn for, and quickly dive into any opportunity to experience what real goodness is. We should be happy to suffer, happy to lay down our lives, happy to give things away, happy to be reproached or forgotten or unwanted, happy to know that our Lord has loved us eternally, and in that find our peace.

If your ideals are the right ones, and the romantic notions the ones that lead to holiness because they are based in the loving sacrifice of the cross, then let nothing hold you back. As Thomas a Kempis said, "Love flies, runs, and rejoices; it is free and nothing can hold it back." That sums up my sentiments exactly.

2 comments:

Sr. Gabriella said...

You make such a good point. And I agree - if its not worth sacrificing for, its not worth it - period.

side note: as a child, i often wished that the world would break out into song, like in disney movies, because then my life would be a musical. made everything more interesting when i had a song in my head. :)

Unknown said...

dude, sooo true. :) just sing to yourself, you only look crazy 75% of the time. the other 25% are doing the same thing, lol. i hope...