So I believe most of us have heard that line before a time or two... or three.
Let's consider some of the other virtues.
Cardinal: Justice, Temperance, Fortitude, Prudence
Theological: Faith, Hope, Love
Patience, while logically a participant with the virtues above, is not on either list.
Where does it fit in the tradition, then?
I discovered through our trusty wikipedia (judge me a little) that the Psychomachia was a poem written in 410 AD by a Christian illustrating the seven deadly sins or vices and their virtuous counterparts. In this work, patience is the remedy for wrath.
However, the "angelic doctor," St. Thomas Aquinas, also wrote on patience in the
Summa Theologica. He writes including patience under fortitude and temperance. He writes that it is not the most perfect of virtues (which is Charity), but that is is
a virtue, and one which moderates sorrow.
I find this extremely interesting when we consider patience in the needs of our own lives. Drawing from my own experience and those close to me, patience is needing for some or all of the following in any given day: for long and exhausting traffic, for people who are oblivious and therefore injure you, inconvenience you, forget you, step on you, squish you, are rude to you, etc..., for the work day to pass, for deadlines to be accomplished, for proper responses from coworkers, employers, employees, students, etc..., for friends, for family, for boyfriends or girlfriends, fiances, husbands and wives, for kids, for cooking, for showering (depends on how lazy you feel), for working out, for results in any endeavor, for shopping, for reading, for writing, for playing sports, for practicing for rehearsals, concerts, an instrument, voice, sports, other fine skills, etc..., for glue to dry, for nails to dry, for clothes to dry, for baking, for crafts, for computers that don't work, for any technology, for conversations with others, for prayer, for cars that don't work, for anything broken, for Christmas trees that don't have stands, for wrapping presents, and on and on and on.
Really, what don't we need patience for?
This makes me ponder what patience itself is, then, if it is truly so common. Is it the waiting? Is it the understanding? Is it the process? Is it the calmness rather than aggravation? Is it the acceptance of what cannot be controlled?
Perhaps that is the beginning of what patience really is. Even before accepting what is beyond our control, we have to recognize what is beyond our control. How many times have I been yelling at the car in front of me to MOVE when I suddenly seem to remember that a) they can't hear me, b) if they could hear me it wouldn't matter anyway, and c) if I do end up any later at my destination because of this person, it is most likely going to be an unnoticeable amount of time, and therefore doesn't matter.
Once we recognize what is beyond our control, then we must accept it. Next, we wait for it to reveal itself, unveil itself, figure itself out, or whatever term is proper to the situation that means the power of action lies with the other and not with ourselves. Ideally, when we reach this point, we are more relaxed and calm. We are not always that way, but it certainly makes the waiting easier.
But to some, perhaps those of you who tend to be more proactive, this sounds much more like resignation than a virtue. The proper quote would be the
serenity prayer. Yet, if you can't settle for the "wisdom to know the difference," let me break this down a little further.
I will give you a beautiful quote from Pope Benedict XVI that I believe encapsulates all I am trying to get at (but if I had given it to you at the beginning than there would be no point in a post):
"Waiting becomes too heavy a burden to bear, when we cannot be sure whether we really have anything at all to wait for. When, on the other hand, time itself is meaningful and every moment contains something especially valuable, our joyful anticipation of the greater experience that is still to come makes what we have in the present even more precious and we are carried by an invisible power beyond the present moment. Advent helps us to wait with precisely this kind of waiting."
There are two vital elements I want to point out in his quote.
First, waiting is
active. The Holy Father presents waiting as if it is a choice. He refers to it as a "burden," which implies that it is something placed upon us or even required of us, and yet then adds the option of not carrying the burden in saying that we may not be sure that we have a reason to wait. Therefore, waiting, patience, requires an active choice. In this instance,
not doing something,
is doing something.
Second, there is an
end in sight, or in mind. Waiting implies a goal, a resolution, a purpose. Waiting is not just an innominate and interminable wasteland stretching on beyond the horizon! Even for those whose waiting may seem just so, as may be the case for one who has an incurable illness or some other irreversible situation, it is not. There
is and end. There is always an end. It helps, most certainly, when we have a goal or end that is both tangible and desirable. Waiting in traffic is worth it when it is the only way I get to work (and therefore have food to eat and to pay rent with) or home (where I may eat and sleep).
Yet, the end means more than only the finish line. When we really think about the patience and the goal, we realize that the goal
informs the waiting. That is to say, our patience comes along with our comprehension of our end or goal, and our goal or end enables us to truly grab hold of and posses our patience. I am not going to sit by and watch glue dry on a tongue depressor unless I know that I'm building a little house. When I have this project in mind, watching glue dry is transformed from a seemingly silly and mindless activity into something done with precision and care. The image of the final product, my finished house, is ever before me while I work with the bare bones of the popsicle sticks.
If this isn't a practical enough example, think about little kids with leggos. At least for me, every Christmas is filled with some of my brothers rejoicing in the boxes of small plastic pieces that they are going to spend agonizing hours over while they follow directions included in the box to build the included plane, truck, movie scene, etc... Even a puzzle is the same concept! When we have the larger picture in mind, there is meaning in each of the small pieces.
Pope Benedict XVI wisely referred to this type of anticipation as the patience of Advent. Knowing what was coming, in the sense of the birth of our Lord, informed and enthused every moment leading up to that event. Though Our Lady certainly could not have known all that was to come, even the announcement by the angel was enough for her faith to know and believe that the Son of God was conceived in her womb and growing inside of her.
As a woman who has not had the privilege of being pregnant, I cannot conceive of what that must have been like. I imagine that the sense of anticipation and joy in life is always heightened. I imagine that every day I am more grateful for my own life as I become more aware of the other life that is entirely dependent on mine. I imagine that I will understand my own life in an entirely new sense. I imagine that I will look at my parents in a way I have not known before. I imagine that I will have a deeper respect and understanding for what it means for man to participate in God's creative work. For Our Lady, I am sure this was all a thousand times more potent for the miraculous conception of the Son of God in her womb by the Holy Spirit!
Though our waiting is not impregnated with the Word in the flesh, in a way it very seriously can be. Receiving the Lord, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist every day is as close as we can come to knowing the potency and complete union of he Word of God living within us! The
Anima Christi prayer includes the phrase, "Blood of Christ, inebriate me." That we may be inebriated with the life, the Blood of Jesus. That is a very serious and total informing of our waiting, of our patience. We ought not to tire of the waiting when it is filled with the life of God!
That is our challenge, and the exact point of patience as a virtue. It is not the resignation (while that is certainly sometimes required), but it is the
life, the
liveliness of the Christian while he or she waits! It is the vitality that flows within the veins of one who understands the whole of life in the most important context, in the crux of existence, in the light of the Incarnation and Paschal Mystery.
Patience is a virtue when and by we enter into the life of Christ. Let us not forget that while God became man, he too, waited. He too grew and developed, in a womb, as a child, as a youth and as an adult. He too had goals, and deadlines. He too knew what it was to
yearn for something that could not immediately be. Jesus said in Luke 13:34-35,
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how many times I yearned to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were unwilling! Behold, your house will be abandoned. [But] I tell you, you will not see me until [the time comes when] you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”
Christ knows the time is not the present for the accomplishment of his mission, and he accepts that and continues his mission, knowing that certain time will come. How much we have to learn from this!
If you have ever had the experience of getting what you want
when you want it, even when you should have to wait for it, you may understand why the patience is so important for the overall life of the person. Too often we are given exactly what we want instantaneously, and in doing so, it is as if we are blinded to the authenticity and beauty of the other thing/person/experience. Much like when we turn a light on suddenly when our eyes have been adjusted to very dim light, we cannot see everything right away. Rather, if we gently increased the light so that our eyes adjusted accordingly, we would be able to see clearly the whole time. This is how important patience is. That we have true sight is more valuable than if we have the power to control.
In this time of Advent, and throughout our whole lives, let us keep before us the goal. Let Christ inform us, in every moment, and feed us with his Body and Blood so that we may know what it is to truly live. Let us be thankful for the many and very consistent opportunities we have each and every day to be patient, and ask the Holy Spirit for the grace and aid to advantageously learn from those times.
Sweet Lord, come to our aid! St. Thomas, pray for us.
