This may be a little redundant (for the blog), but I want to discuss "giftedness" of the person. There are many aspects of John Paul II's Theology of the Body that are without a doubt "fundamental" to his whole teaching and absolutely necessary for understanding what he means by an "adequate anthropology," but this may be the most basic.
There are three levels of "gift" that I want to cover - first and foremost, being a gift. Secondly, awareness of and caring for the "gift," and thirdly, giving the "gift."
Along with this discussion will come a deeply interwoven concept of freedom, so I think it best to very simply lay out what that term will mean in this discussion. Freedom, in true form with Catholic teaching and with the Holy Father, is not a "right" as such nor an asserted "ability to choose." Freedom is a gift from God, inscribed in our very make up. Culturally, it is often considered that we are free when we have options to choose from one thing or another, and that we can pick what we desire without coersion. However, this is not the truth of freedom, but an instance in which this interior aspect of personhood is displayed. The law itself cannot give or take away this aspect of being. We are free by our very natures. Free, that is, to exist, and to exist specifically as a gift. Simply by existing, we are free. Again, we will discuss this, so just come along with me on this point. We are free to exist as a gift, and free to give the gift. This is the basic relationship of all living things.
We exist in relation to others. We exist in relation to the world. Our existence begins with the relationship of a father and mother and it develops in relation specifically to our mother, and it continues in the world in family and the wider community as we grow. So if freedom is within our nature, and nature is dramatially and intrinsically relational, freedom itself is a character of this relationality. We are free, in essence, for others.
We are not primarily "free" in the cultural sense of from something. A freedom premised on from will be in a never-ending struggle to "claim" itself - an uphill battle that cannot be won. We will never be "free" in that way because we can never be so solely self-sufficient that we can completely remove ourselves from all the world and all other beings. If this were the case, and we could be so removed, then we would truly have no forms of coersion that would "move" our "freedoms" one way or the other. But this cannot be what freedom means, because we are created and exist in relation. It makes no logical sense to say it is inscribed in our being, which is relational by nature, and then say that it means "to-be-removed-from-relation."
Ok, hopefully you followed that. Or some of that. Main point to grasp would be that we are free when we can be, with others and for others, as we are, in ourselves. A lack of freedom would be violence done to us, incarceration, slavery, etc.. but these are examples in the sense that they hinder or destroy our human dignity and personhood, and not because "we didn't choose this." I hope that's generally evident. Freedom, true, God-given freedom, is the ability to become who we are created to be, to find fulfillment, to give and receive in life so that we are drawn ever-closer to God and eternal beatitude. (For further reading and a better explanation, see http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_06081993_veritatis-splendor_en.html.)
Let's get to the "gift-giving" and perhaps it will all become more clear.
So, number one, being a gift. Maybe this is obvious... seems like it should be. However, I had never reflected on it in this sense until reading some of Hans Urs von Balthasar (Unless You Become Like This Child - http://www.ignatius.com/Products/UYB-P/unless-you-become-like-this-child.aspx). The idea Balthasar uncovers is taken up by John Paul II, later by Benedict XVI, and I am sure by many theologians of the day. Give him the credit, but let us speak of what he unveiled. Our beginning, where we come from, our origin... it is not "our own." We do not will ourselves into existence. In fact, we cannot do anything about it. Coming-to-be isn't an option. We simply are. One day, all this cold are infiltrates our warm little bubble and we have no choice but to breath in with our infant lungs. There is nothing we can do but acknowledge that we come directly and specifically from another. We could debate the meaning of the "other" - whether we mean here the parents or the mother or a Creator (the Creator) - but in any case we cannot contest our from-other-ness.
Being from another is a dramatic state. We must, in some way, retain something of the other who brought us into being, and yet simultaneously be our own individual beings. How does this work? The only logical case is a gift. To be created and then enslaved to the other would be terrible. To be created and be only an extension of the other would also be serverly insufficient. We are our own. Parents can certainly attest to the experience of a child who comes, quite literally, from their own flesh, and yet is wholly other and separate, a unique and individual being. So again, the only logical answer is a gift. Gifts are given in love. They retain some "something" of the giver in their nature as a gift (ie, ugly Christmas sweater from Aunt Lulu communicates Aunt Lulu's thoughtfulness, even if it isn't fashionable, or even wearable). Again, the sight, smell, sound, or encounter with the gift any time after it has been given will necessarily remind us of the giver. Yet, though the giver comes to us in a way through the gift, the gift is now ours and not theirs. It has been given to us freely by the other (no strings attached) and fully (no part kept back). We are this type of gift. God, in creating us, gives us something unique and beautiful, our own nature, our own being. We retain some presence of him within us, but we are created with free will, and are able to accept this gift of being and maintain it.
This is the second aspect of gift. To recognize that we do exist in this fashion, and to also see within it the need to care for it and preserve it. The basic disposition of a heart that recognizes a gift given to them freely and fully is one of gratitude. We are grateful because we have become aware that what we have, even who we are, is not primarily our own. We are indebted, though indirectly. The gift of existing was given fully, and therefore we do not have to return anything to the giver per se. Yet, our hearts (hopefully) are disposed to appreciation when we realize we possess something we do not deserve by our own merits. We did nothing to receive this great gift. We simply received it. In like manner, we are compelled to give back. Not coerced, not forced, not demanded, etc... Invited. We are invited, by the nature of the goodness of the gift and of the giver, to give back. The invitation lies inscribed in the gift. I made you a chocolate cake... you thank me. Did you have to? Did I threaten to take the cake back and eat it myself if you weren't thankful? No. That's silly. But just the same, you do appreciate it. Now multiply that by a gazillion, because the nature of the gift of a cake is drastically less than that of existence, of your very being. So typically, it is safe to say, once we receive this gift freely and fully, we come to realize we have received it, and we are delighted, surprised, happy, thankful, even in awe - and would like to give something back in return.
The third aspect of gift is then giving back. A key here is that we cannot give what we do not first have. I would love to give my parents the money to fix up our house, go on nice trips to holy places in Europe, and maybe pay off my college loans for me since it's a little too self-centered to give myself that gift directly. However, seeing as how I do not have that money, nor am likely to any time soon, I am not going to be able to give them that gift. IF you don't have something, THEN you can't give it. Right? Right.
So since your being was given freely and fully, you do possess it, and in the sense that you can give it (in various levels or amounts) to another. This is a giving that builds with time and understanding. We can "give" our hearts or selves to God, for example, but then do so more fully than we did the year before a year later. A year after that, we may yet again be able to surrender or offer to the One we love some other aspect of ourselves. It is often the case that life, as it moves forward, brings experiences of understanding ourselves more deeply than before, and therefore reveals aspects of our interior or exterior that we were not aware of previously. The deeper our awareness, the more fully we can offer. It is not to say that I am holding something back from my parents when I say I love them as a child, but that when I tell them I love them now, it encompasses all of the memories and experiences and sacrafices that have become a part of our history together. I love them in each of those moments held in mind and heart, culminating in that one instance of "I love you" on the phone on Sunday evening. Are you following?
Another example - I love my friends. I love the friends I have been close to for a long period of time in a profound way because we have more time through which we have come to know and understand one another. So I give them the gift of my friendship, my comradery, my appreciation, my love. I receive the gift of their friendship, their appreciation, their love. Moreover, not only do we hold in mind all of the past experiences in our relationship in our moment of appreciation and love, but we hold in mind the promise of the future as well. Love stretches its arms very wide. It draws horizons backward and forward. So although I cannot guarantee that I will be there for them in the coming year in all of my listening-on-the-phone and prayer-throughout-the-day and good-times-spent-together, etc.. I certainly can intend that I will be there and hope that I will be there and give them the promise of that support to the extent that I can keep it. This is what comes with self-awareness, or a self-possession-for-the-sake-of-gift.
Maybe you are ready to tear your hair out because I'm STILL talking... I'm actually taking a break from writing and finishing this later. Take a coffee break, that's fine.
Ok, the final stretch, the last 10 yards...
If you didn't catch on to where I was going with gift-giving, let me lay it out flat. Giftedness is essential in these three dimensions:
1. Per understanding of existence. Being a gift, coming to the world as a gift, is vital to who you are. Nae, it is epitomizing. It has to be the whole of our self-awareness and self-knowledge and self-love. You are a gift! You live in the freedom of a gift. You came to being because someone loved you. Someone loved you, and they gave you existence (to be clear, I mean God here). You are a child of God because he desired you to exist, willed you to be, and gave you life (I'm not discrediting your parents' participation in this by any means). The premise of your-being-in-the-world is because of a loving gift.
2. The way you relate to the world. Being a gift requires (by the nature of giftedness) an appreciation and love to be returned to life and others, and above all, to the giver, God. We are creatures in-relation at all times, and being in relation as gift means that we can receive and appreciate others and give ourselves to them in the various capacities appropriate through life.
3. Marriage! Haha, you knew that was coming, right?
John Paul II writes about "the language of the body" and the "spousal meaning of the body" in The Theology of the Body. These are intrinsic elements to personhood. We cannot explain them here because this is an obnoxiously long post. But what can be said it that when you can look at your spouse and know that he or she is a gift from God, to himself or herself and also to you, you can be joyful and thankful. In return, you can recognize yourself as a gift from God to yourself and also to your spouse. You are able to give yourself because of this awareness of where you come from and where you are going. There is no room for confusion or doubt in the gift because you know who the Giver is. You are able to receive the gift of the other and return the gift in the proper love that dwells in the heart that has God as the center of life. When your being is for another, for the Lord, it is easy to order all other things in this light. The priority of your spouse comes directly in line with your love and worship of God. The two of you together embark on a vocation to love and serve the Lord through and with one another. This is all necessarily based on an understanding of one another as children of God, existing as gift.
I hope that made sense, or at least some of it. I'm not even sure I know what I was saying... I'll come back to the language of the body and spousal meaning, those can be the next topics because they are certainly important. Thanks for bearing with me! Keep praying that we are able to be ever-more renewed in our understanding of the beauty of life and the profound gift of love given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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