Quid est Veritas?

Just reflecting in mass today on how pathetic I am.

(I promise this is not a post about sadness, woe-is-me, or in other forms self-deprecating.)

In truth, it is not that I am so particularly pathetic in terms of effort or personality or something (although that may also be true), but in a more "objectively-subjective" way; I am tiny, insignificant, sinful, and in need of God's grace in every element of my existence.

Mulling over this further, I found myself thinking about this blog. Why, I must ask, does anyone ever read it? Now, I am not claiming that many do (because they don't - thank you Google Analytics!), but even the few friends and family who happen upon this site from time to time... why? I have to argue against it, because there is nothing that I am going to say or could say that isn't just one person's limited attempts to understand or unpack the depths and mysteries that are present in the fullness of the Deposit of Faith belonging to the Catholic Church. Really, why not go read Sacred Scripture? Isn't that what I would want someone to do, anyway? Pick up the Bible, read a passage, meditate and pray with it, and walk away with some greater knowledge of the Lord! You are not encountering the Word made Flesh in a blog the way you will in the Word of Scripture. And if not Sacred Scripture, how about any of the Church's great magisterial teachings? One of the beautiful documents of the Second Vatican Council, perhaps? The Catechism of the Catholic Church, perhaps? Why not go to the source? It seems as if we would like to know what it feels like to ice our injury with a towel around the ice pack, expecting the effects of the ice directly on our skin. Or we want to know what it feels like to look directly at the sun but we won't take off the sunglasses. Or we desire to hear a great symphony orchestra but we will only listen to cover bands. I'll go the extra mile and add that we desire to express our love for one another in the intimacy of sexual union, but we won't do it without contraceptives. This seems illogical. Why do we want this medium, this middle-man, for what we want to be authentic experiences and encounters?

There is another element to this. Consider that our culture is all about "equality." We love the story about the man or woman who seems to have no expertise, no talent or skill, but somehow manages to be successful (why?). We seem to rejoice when there is a display of "no one is better than anyone else." We do not want to see Sam Thompson succeed in his business unless it could just as easily have been Susie Marks who succeeded in the same position. Please don't misunderstand this for advocating inequalities or disparities, but only for advocating justice and truth, which exists within the realm of real and natural inequalities and disparities that do exist. I am in no way thrilled at the idea of favoritism, nepotism, or other forms of unjust preference - yet, in a strange way, our culture really creates these scenarios by its extreme relativism! The issue of natural differences and disparities (specifically in gender) is one I am not going to unpack at this time, but the point is that our culture seemingly would prefer to elevate everyone to the same level, relative to each other, since there is no moral guideline (because that would immediately make the relativism impossible), and emphasize that as our guiding post.

So...with that standard set, the mentality opposite the first paragraph becomes the norm. Why go read Sacred Scriptures? Why believe or trust in or submit to the Magisterium of the Church? Why obey a hierarchy? Why turn to the teachings of the Church, to the Catechism or to the words of Christ? We can simply read our friends', families', professors' or fellow students' ideas and works and writings and learn just as much, right? There are blogs everywhere! We can find anything that we want, any angle and any support, any ideology or philosophy that supports our lifestyle or our preferences or our goals. We do not need some single-source. We do not need history. We do not need... God. No, we have human beings. We have the human mind. We have our developments and progress and technologies and advancements. We have turned the world into something that was nearly inconceivable one hundred years ago... seems like enough proof for most of us that we have got things under control here. We don't need to "imagine" a higher power to explain things away when we can find a scientific proof for it and control it in our own way.

This is what my mind went to... the drastic difference between what it means to spread my thoughts across a page in consideration of the great mysteries of life, and what it means to turn to the Revelation of the One who gave us Life.

I'm not giving up writing or anything (because I would be miserable), but I am making a point. I would be doing you, the reader, more of a favor by quoting the Catechism or Sacred Scripture on this blog every day, than by reflecting or attempting to teach anything on my own. We need God. We need his revelation, his gifts of grace, his wisdom, his Holy Spirit. We will not advance if our world is self-centered, solipsistic. We need to shake off, daily, the chains of relativism that threaten to choke us and hold us down. We need to get the grime of amoralism out of our eyes, because it is too dark to see any truth when we refuse to have a moral compass. We must learn the beauty and goodness of seeking the Truth, and submitting to it, humbly and with obedience. We cannot learn if we refuse to be taught! We cannot grow if we will not allow ourselves to be watered.

Lord, have mercy.