I would like to have it marked down that although I can be a moody person, and although my happiness may seem to ebb and fade from time to time, there is lasting JOY in the Christian life that should be proclaimed!
I was reflecting on how sufferings or trials bring us closer to the Lord. This is one of those Christian principles that almost seems cliche or therapuetic rather than a foundation for our lives. Yet, that is what it is meant to be. Sin, my friends, is the alien here. Sin, was not part of the original plan. God our Father created us all in a state of original innocence, where we were free from the stain of evil and filled with the spirit of love and trust in our Maker. We were created with free will as well, and by this we did choose to disobey our Father, to lose our trust in him, to break away from his love.
God, being as good as he is, for he is all good and the true good, did not leave us broken and in our misery but in time, sent his only beloved Son to become one of us, and to suffer and die that we might be redeemed from the eternal punishment of that first sin. Though we still sin and fail to recognize and understand God's love and mercy working in our lives, we are always the recipients of the invitation to forgiveness and mercy. The Lord is infinitely patient with our failures, and so perfect in love that we need only confess our brokenness and be sincere in our sorrow and we will be healed. He leads us to his heart time and again, where we can experience the abyss of mercy that is greater than any baggage we can bring with us.
So when we bear heavy burdens or loads, or when sufferings weigh us down, we are experiencing the effects of sin in the world. Not as if it were a direct correlation to our own sin - Christ clearly states in Scripture that God is not retributive in that way - but the effects of sin in the world at large bring about evil and sad things. The repurcussions of hate, malice, evny, greed, lust, selfishness, idolotry, vanity, pride and other evils are that people suffer. Sometime we suffer from our own bad choices. Often we suffer because satan still has a hold on this earthly world, and he has worked hard to bring us away from the heart of Christ. The paradox is that, for the Christian, the sufferings can be turned into experiences of Christ's love and mercy that are greater than if they had not suffered.
I think often about the analogy of the blind. If you begin life without knowing what colors and shapes are, any experience that would assist you in opening your eyes and seeing in light rather than in darkness would be worth it, even if it was painful. The man in the story of Scripture who is brought to Jesus and has been blind since birth, has mud rubbed into his eyes from Jesus. Not necessarily the most pleasant experience. When Jesus tells him to go wash, he's probably just thrilled to stop the burning that he is experiencing. Yet, what happens after, the fruit of that pain, is glorious. He can see. He can see faces and colors and can recognize people who he has only known by voice until that time. This joy, the celebration of the change, far outweighs the pain that it took to get him there.
Likewise, I have heard it said that women and men who await the birth of a child suffer quite a bit as the birth approaches, especially the mother herself during childbirth. Yet, all say that the peace and joy that comes from holding your baby in your arms leaves no room in your memory for the pain that was just endured. All that is left is the new glory, the dramatic change in life that has created a newness about everything.
This is what I mean when I say that Christian's can experience good and joy in understanding suffering in this way. We have to be humble enough to acknowledge that we are blind in many ways. That can be the hardest challenge, the greatest suffering. We may not want to accept that God truly knows better than we do, especially in matters that are most personal to us, such as our hearts and their attachments to others, or our life goals/dreams, etc... Things which we feel have always been ours to conceive or to give away, are suddenly first requiring our surrender.
But this is why suffering is so beautiful. We might not have ever let Jesus spit in the dirt and rub that muck in our eyes if we knew what was happening. Moreover, if we weren't blind first. Since we are blind, we are forced to need him, to need the initial experience. Once the experience has been had, we realize how trustworthy he is. One mircale ought to be more than enough for us to know that he will always be faithful to his promises. We should then expect great and better things from his hand, because he has revealed himself as the one who loves us. That is his title, the One Who Loves. Love is a gift. Therefore he is the One Who Gives - gives of himself. And because he is Love itself, all that he gives is love. And so it is a beautiful cycle of receiving from him and rejoicing as we surrender again all that we are and have.
So I do not challenge people to be fake, to tell others everything is great when it isn't or to smile when we need to be weak, but I do challenge everyone to deepen their faith. Whether it is in prayer at mass, before the Eucharist in adoration, with Scripture in your room, at Confession or with friends or family...take the time to pray and meditate on where your faith is currently. How much, really, do you trust him? If you can, read through the book of Job. It will suprise you. You think you've heard it enough, and then all of a sudden he's speaking about all that your heart has felt or is feeling. Meditate with the journey he goes through. Where is the Lord calling you to give up control, to trust his love, to surrender to him? Is it in little ways, like the traffic to work or the creamer that wasn't at the grocery when you wanted it? Is it in larger ways, like the relationship that isn't working or the job that you just can't seem to land? Is it your relatives or family who don't understand you or who are suffering? Is it your own fears of judgement or dislike or indiffernece from others that hurt you deeply?
He has felt these. He knows them. He has gone before you in these pains and he is still with you. He will not leave. The blind man was brought to Jesus in person, but Christ knew him before and had loved him in his mother's womb. Jesus had yearned to open his eyes. He desired the joy to live in that man's heart.
Most of all, there is no better example for us than Our Lady. Even at the beginning of her great journey, at the moments of the annunciation when she was faced with the most beautiful Gift that has ever been given, she also was faced with the prospect of possibly being stoned, as the Jewish law called for when women were pregnant "out-of-wedlock." Mary's response is honest, "how can this be since I have not known man?" As soon as Gabriel informs her that she can conceive by the power of God, she simply rejoices! Fear has been banished from her heart. She will trust, and she will be radiant with joy. God is all goodness, all perfection, all love! She will know nothing else.
Let us come to Our Mother and ask for her guidance and teaching, that we too can rejoice in sufferings, and with her, allow our soul's to proclaim God's greatness always.
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