Beatitudes, Part V

Matt. 5:1-16

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."

Perhaps I will begin every one of these reflections with something like, "I know I said this last time, but this one must be my favorite." I just have to smile. Each one of these small "to-be-blessed" statements from Our Lord holds so much depth, heighth, fullness and freedom!

Very quickly I want to speak for a moment on what a "beatitude" even is. That probably should have come at the beginning, but here we are. The useful online dictionary defines this word as follows: "Supreme blessedness or happiness." What I take the Lord to mean here is that if one should choose to make these lessons a way of life, to take Jesus at his word, to believe fully in the truth he is, that person will inevitably inherit a fullness of life, both here on earth and in heaven after death. These are the sign posts on Imitation Road, where we can come to see the footprints of Jesus laid out before us, measure our feet against his... see how utterly impossible it is to fill those shoes, and then rejoice because he has given us a way to stand on his feet so that we can still walk with him on the journey. They direct us on how to stand on his feet, and how to balance when the road climbs up and dips down. As he is the truth and life, these are his way. They are aspects of his heart, chambers which we can enter into and learn from. Each is its own school and yet all work together to form the greater whole of a Christ-like life.

Now back to the merciful being blessed!

I cannot communicate, by any stretch or means, what the truth of mercy is. It is the active verb of love. God is love. Mercy is his action. Mercy encompasses every moment of our failure, our sin, our rejection, our hate of the one who has given us everything, and in that covering it not only washes all the sadness, hurt, brokenness and darkness away, but it brings newness as well.

The lines from this song help to reveal something of this truth:

"I give you my heart,

It was never mine at all.

So I don't mind if it breaks or falls,

You'll restore it to life after all.

Cause you never stop making us new,

More and more into the image of you."

Mercy is that we are alive. Mercy is that the world exists. Mercy is that we keep existing. Mercy is that I have been born into a family that loved me, that raised me to love the Lord, that provided for me, that was provided for by the Lord so that it could provide for me, that educated me in his ways, that enabled me to learn to read and write and to one day share some of that gift with you as you read this now. Mercy is everything. We do not have to have food, or clothes, or shoes, or a job, or a house, or a family. We do not have to have hope, or trust, or forgiveness, or joy, or peace, or excitement, or perseverence, or strength, or courage, or justice. We do not have to have life. We do not have to be. There could be nothingness. A lack. An absence. But the Lord, in his mercy, has filled it. There is. There are. We are.

Mercy is grace, it is love, it is truth. There is nothing more true than that God is love. There is also then nothing more true than that God is merciful, is mercy itself. Mercy, by definition, should be "the love of God poured out." That simple. The blood of Christ poured out during the Passion, the fire of the Holy Spirit poured out at Pentacost, the ever-present gift of being poured out from Our Father in heaven! Everything is a gift, everything is his mercy.

So what shall it mean for us to "be merciful as He is merciful"?

I suppose the cliche answer (yet, completely valid answer) is to be ever-forgiving, ever quick to charity, ever living love, ever pouring out ourselves and our hearts.

As a beatitude, I would dare to say, as they all are, that this is a disposition of the heart, soul and will. Charity, in its fullness. To be merciful and thus blessed in that mercy, we have to seek and pray to always be "unmindful should our hearts break or fall" because of our love and trust in our Father. I have heard it called "holy indifference," but what I mean to say is that if we could always see all of life, including our very being, as a gift of generous love, we would have this response that immediately shouted "well, here, take it! It isn't mine anyway!" How often we are quick to pick up the thing someone left lying on the subway, or on the sidewalk... finders keepers or even more basically just a "its there and I picked it up" mentality. Yet, that isn't yours, it isn't mine. If someone came up to you after you picked it up and said, "I'm sorry, I dropped that, it is mine," you would understand that you have no right to it and quickly return it to its owner. If nothing else, you'd be embarrassed that you were trying to keep what wasn't yours. This is life! This is how we are. Borrowed in the generosity of God. Kept in being by his merciful love that exceeds all time and place, force and motion. It isn't ours. One day, or perhaps everyday, he will say to us (often through a family member, friend or stranger), "excuse me, that is mine, may I have it back." We aren't always so quick to give it up.

Be merciful. Be of the disposition that what is yours, isn't yours, and what you've worked hard for is still not yours. You've received the drive to work hard. It's a gift that you wanted to work in the first place. Everything is His generous love! So give it back.

Forgive the annoying man whose armpit you are stuck in on the crowded subway... he's uncomfortable too. Forgive your brother when he is short tempered and blames you for something you didn't mean to do... he is hurting and needs to be understood! Forgive your teacher who says "um" between, um, every syllable and drives you nuts... he's been embarrassed by that for years and it is only in great humility that he continues to teach when he knows how students mock him. Forgive your boss who decided to belittle you at your staff meeting... even if there is no good reason for it that you can discover, your life is a gift and so you have to take confidence that the Lord will use both your embarrassment and his unkindness to better form both of you into his image.

It is that simple. Find a way to reasonably forgive, and if there isn't one, then seek the grace to forgive anyway. Jesus forgives us every time, and it is never reasonable. Jesus died, forgiving us. Who can truly say they would let others beat them, bruise and mock them, insult and punish them, even kill them, when they were innocent of all crime, and then as they were being killed, honestly and genuinely forgive them? It's impossible, but for the love of God, the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts. But the power of the Holy Spirit can be a rushing river, and it can create new channels in our hearts for mercy to flow through, and it can lift up the silt and grime that has piled up, and it can rinse us of our anger, our disdain, our pride, and leave us with clearn hearts.

I know that many would say to "be merciful" is more an "active" beatitude, that it refers to charity-in-practice, to social justice, to the poor and needy. By all means, the Lord does mean this! Yet, look at the example of Christ. Every person he heals, every miracle he performs, every life he changes in Scripture - it is not the bodily injury or ailment but the spiritual one, that of sin, that he first and foremost heals. It is forgiveness that precedes everything else. The healing of hearts, souls and wills in the merciful love of God enables all the other miracles to take place. How can we expect reconciliation among family members, or peace in the workplace, or comfort in our ministries, if we do not first come as bearers of God's mercy? The miracles are possible, but the mercy must be first.

The merciful are blessed because they recognize that life is not their own. They have peace because they let things go. They have joy because they realize that the grace to let go and forget is a gift given. They have more joy because they realize the grace to ask to have the grace to let go and forgive is a gift given. In this track they end up recognizing that nothing is ever of them, and yet they are always the center of God's loving action, as he moves and reforms their hearts so that they are an image of him in this world.

As I said, there aren't words. I repeat again that mercy is the active-verb of love. "To love" is to be merciful. To love is to forgive, time and again. To love is to never fear forgiveness being withheld from you, and to never leave others in fear of your forgiveness being withheld. Could this mean being taken advantage of? Walked upon? Perhaps. Do we take advantage of the Lord, and walk all over him? Absolutely we do. Does his love extend so far beyond our injuries against his love? He set up the giant trampoline long ago, and it is ready to catch us immediately. We'll land and be shot back up to him in an instant. It's almost fun, being forgiven. It buoys our spirits, leads us to rejoicing! So we can be so free with others. He will always supply the strength for us, always give us the courage to be more merciful than we think we could bear.

Love. Forgive. Never count the cost.

Beatitudes, Part IV

Matt. 5:1-16

"Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

I would like to think this is one of the most unique and perhaps overlooked beatitudes. So often Christians/Catholics struggle with the issue of justice. We hear things that conflict often in this area, such as Scriptural references that insist not to live the mantra of "an eye for an eye" and yet also demonstrate Jesus acting in just anger by forcing the Pharisees out of the Temple when they have used it as a marketplace. Where does that leave us, the disciples?

Society usually enforces the "get what's yours" attitude along with the "it's your right" attitude. This trains us to be frustrated, annoyed, hurt, and angry when things we believe are our "due" are withheld from us or when others "deprive" us of something we feel we deserve.

Then there's St. Paul, that wonderful teacher, who so beautifully writes,
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' Rather, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.' Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good." Romans 12:17-21

Here we face a frightening challenge - not only to learn to be less offended when we are put-out, but to turn around and love the person or situation that is causing us grief. Really, St. Paul? Can't you feel your eyebrows rising slowly higher and higher as you realize what living this command out means?

Let's take a few quick examples:
Your little brother steals your favorite anything (fill in most recent offense) and what do you do? Initial insticts say the following: tell on him (and enjoy his squirming under the scrutiny of mom or dad), go take it back (with force) and be sure he understands you are not happy, or perhaps, steal something of his that is of equal or greater value (war tactics) and do not relinquish it until your possession is returned with the interest of a humble apology or some other offering to appease your wasted time in punishing him.
Sound familiar?
You know this has been you. I know this has been me.

Perhaps something less obvious.
Public transportation (or even in your car in traffic) and you get jostled/bumped/roughly moved aside/edged out of your lane/the jerk didn't use a turn signal/the crazy driver is going 5 miles under the speed limit/etc... Who hasn't been tempted to rear end the slow guy? I know I've considered plenty how I could not be blamed for the accident. Who doesn't want to imitate Dane Cook's hilarity when they're bumped and say something "condescendingly nice" like, "oh, no problem," before they apologize (because they weren't going to)? You get the point.

Last example:
You are poor, you go to grad school (this may be a personal example, not making any promises...) and somehow all these other students in your class who are not as poor as you have scholarship money that is need-based. Wait a minute! You may not be good at math (and I'm terrible), but certain comparisons aren't that hard to make. Why are you taking out two loans and they aren't? Who's in charge here?!

I think the point is clear. In the practical life-lessons of the daily grind, we find ourselves tired, hungry, over-heated, uncomfortable, maybe a little sick, suffering in some capacity, and even if everyone else is too, we're still entitled to feel good. So what do we do? Well, we're angry, at life, then at everyone else. Maybe at ourselves too. So we're a little short-tempered, and we might lose patience faster than usual. "Charity" isn't the book we're reaching up to take off the shelf. It's more akin to "How-to-make-someone-suffer-without-being-caught."

I'm not saying our "excuses" aren't legitimate. They are. We do get worn out. Our nerves are raw. We all need more rest, more peace, more quiet, more stillness, more sitting-in-the-rain-and-letting-life-be-still, more fireplaces with someone we love, more smiles, more laughter, more children-who-are-adorable-bringing-us-joy, more hope, more silliness, more... more generosity.

Welcome to how this is all going to be explained.

Generosity.

The Prayer of St. Francis is perfect here (and anywhere, really):
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.


When we allow charity to come into our hearts and make its dwelling place there, we discover a fountain of goodness that we had no idea was inside of us. The beautiful gift of God is that this fountain truly is always present in us (as the Holy Spirit is always with us), and we need only seek the Lord's mercy and grace to bring the waters flowing into our hearts and out into our actions, words, thoughts and prayers. I think of St. Bernadette who discovered the fountain of water below the dirt where she was told to dig. Embarrassed and mocked for her actions, this young woman so full of faith was able to bring to the world immesureable miracles through her seeking God's will and allowing him to bring the waters flowing, in her life quite literally. We can all share in healing waters coming into our souls and our world when we go to him who has said very frankly, "Jesus stood up and exclaimed, 'Let anyone who thirsts come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as scripture says: 'Rivers of living water will flow from within him.' He said this in reference to the Spirit that those who came to believe in him were to receive." - John 7:38-39
 
So the first step of being a Christian who hungers and thirsts for righteousness is to be one who hungers and thirsts for charity, for generosity, for the Holy Spirit, for mercy and forgiveness, for purity of heart, for truth.
 
When these become the dominating themes of one's thoughts and desires, even when we are attacked (physically and spiritually) in the subway or by our families or in our places of work, we will confidently know where to turn. Just a few moments of quiet and stillness, just a quick prayer of peace, a deep breath of the Holy Spirit can return our hearts to the worship they were made for, the Lord's will, and away from our own angry or hurt dispositions.
 
On the more spiritual plane, I think it is fair to say that when we hunger and thirst for righteousness we seek the Truth above all else.
This truth, we expect and mean to be the Lord's will, in our lives and in the world. Whether our decisions are to eat a meal or to date someone, to apply to a school or to call an old friend, big or small, effecting only ourselves or many, they need to be placed first before Jesus. Truly.
 
I do not mean that we should be overly scrupulous and need to pray, "Lord, should I be reading this blog now?!" (He'd probably say yes, though). What I mean is that when we place our hearts before him and our wills and our bodies before him and we say (everyday) - these are yours, Jesus. I am yours. This life that I have, it is yours. I am your child. Save me, care for me, instruct me, hold me, guide me, love me. I am your servant. Send me, inform me, enlighten me, use me as you will. I am your lover. Lead me deeper into love with you today. With Our Lady we can say simply, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord, may it be it done to me according to your word" (Lk. 1:38).
 
Then, with a heart disposed to belong to a lover and King who has condescended to love us purely and fully forever, we will find that each decision we face will inevitably belong to him as well. He will guide our wills and hearts. We can trust our hearts, because they are his. So we can move through life in confidence and hope, because we hunger and thirst for his satisfaction, for his pleasure, for his joy. These are fulfilled when we love him. When we believe in his love, so much that no sin or failure will ever keep us from him, because we will believe in his mercy and forgiveness above all else. So our hope will ever motivate us to seek him, to seek Truth, to know it and follow it, to proclaim it and live it. To witness to truth. To teach the truth.
 
Let us pray that our understanding of what righteousness is will ever be the wisdom of the Lord, and that our hunger for it will ever be satisfied as we place our trust in him.
Amen.

Beatitudes, Part III

Matthew 5: 1-16


"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land."

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this beatitude is the following words that flowed from the Immaculate Heart of Mary, full of the Holy Spirit -
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him.
He has shown might with his arm, dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart. He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones but lifted up the lowly. The hungry he has filled with good things; the rich he has sent away empty. He has helped Israel his servant, remembering his mercy, according to his promise to our fathers, to Abraham and to his descendants forever." Luke 1:46-55

The meek are not the downtrodden, the lame, the uneducated, the loathsome, the weak, the gullible, the easily manipulable. No, meekness does not translate into cowardly or spineless. Quite the opposite, really. Meek could be translated into "wise" or "honest" or "full of truth" if it is to be best understood. The meek are they who realize both the goodness of the Lord, the mercy and generosity of God, and their own poverty and littleness. Not to confuse this with "poor in spirit," the meek add an active lifestyle to this knowledge. The meek are those who willingly choose to submit to God's will, to other's who are harsh or take advantage of them, who accuse them falsely, who judge them wrongly, who may be unkind, for the glory of God and his plan, and not because they can't fight back or win. Most often the meek are more confident of the truth and could easily prove the injustice of the other if they so desired, yet choose not to because they understand a greater purpose and a more generous end than those who are their accusors or attackers.

The first definition in the dictionary for Meek is: "humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others." The importance here is that those who are humbly patient, who are meek, know that beyond a doubt they have already won. Rather, Him who they are fighting for has already won. His battle tactics can seem unconventional, but when he says to lay low and not rise to the bait of the ignorant or those acting out of hurt or confusion, but rather to love them in the justice that he loves them in, they obey, freely.

I can say there have been a number of times in my life when I have come under some small persecutions and have handled it poorly. Sometimes I attempt to be meek at first, but then my sense of self-righteousness gets the better of me and I find a way to disprove them or "try to talk to them, to make them see their wrong." Sometimes we are certainly called to challenge others to love better, to respect others more, to respect themselves more, etc... We are never called to vengence though, and God tells us in Scripture to leave repayment of evil up to him. We are to imitate his Son, who rather than snuffing us out like the gnats we can be, he endured our greatest ridicule and silently went to the cross, even when he was given opportunities to defend himself. Such was his love. He asks us to seek to live in the same manner, to try to forgive when forgiveness seems impossible, and moreover then to forget, as if it never happened. He asks us to accept his unconditional love, and then to relate to others with that same love we've received. There cannot be conditions or stipulations or requirements. Cool or awkward, pretty or ugly, best friend or uncomfortable person on the subway, we are all his sons and daughters and he yearns for us to invite everyone else into the love he is freely handing out.

So blessed are the meek, for they have received first love, then wisdom and understanding, and then perseverance in mercy and generosity, so that they are livnig testimonies to the love of Christ for all men.
Let us be as our Lady and never hesitate to proclaim the greatness of God, for those who are humble he will exalt. Amen.

Beatitudes, Part II

Matthew 5: 1-16


"Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted."

This is one of my favorite beatitudes, mainly because we all mourn. The Lord is too good to leave us broken, though often our hurts can be at least in some part attributed to our own faults. We are too proud, too stubborn, too hard headed, too vain, too attached to things that are not of the Lord, and then when we burn our hands on the open fire that he warned us not to touch, he just brings out the aloe and starts tending our wounds. Too good, if that could ever be said, is the Lord. What is important is that we learn from these experiences, and do better the next time.

There are many types of mourning, some more obvious than others. Dramatic experiences such as the loss of a family member or loved one or tragic accidents that leave people disabled or sick can be very painful. Less dramatic experiences such as minimal sickness or sorrow that comes from a broken heart or lonliness can be equally as troubling. So often the heart and mind, even the will, reach a point of being broken down and exhausted, and begin to submit to depression or despair. We start to lose hope so quickly!

Yet, the Christian message is one solely based on hope. This virture comes hand in hand with faith in God - who he is and what he promises - and with the Love that he is and offers freely to us. We cannot lose these, nor when they seem to already be lost can we just accept it or settle down to unhappiness.

However, it is so important to remember where and who the healing and strength and comfort come from. When we face these kinds of trials and heart breaks, only one can take on all of our brokenness and put us back together. That is the same one who put us together in the first place. Our Father and Lord.

To think we can get ourselves back up after some piercing suffering is silly. We can try but we will not be able to fully recover until we lay ourselves in his hands and leave it to him to remake us. I can speak to this because I know what it is like; I have endured some very real sufferings, and I had every "right" to be angry with God or to question his goodness and love. My baby brother passed away at three months old and people seemed so shocked that I was "ok" or seemed to be handling it well. I wasn't handling it well at all! Nor was I ok. I was horrified, and frightened, and broken, and still breaking as I watched my parents continually break down. What I did have was God's mercy, and in that I found both peace and hope. Collin was baptized, clearly never sinned, and suffered for those three months of his life from cystic fibrosis. This, in Catholic terms, is a recipe for heaven-bound from the moment of death. Being free from original sin and having committed no other sin, it is easy to hope and hold as true that he is with the Lord in the beatific vision. That is a comfort, no matter how hard our loss might have felt on earth. My brother beat us all to the finish line. But that is actually a reason to rejoice, not to be sad. So although I did endure great sadness, I also occasionally rejoiced, because in truth this world is only a passing place, something transitory to prepare us for everlasting life with our God. Under that truth, Collin sped along in his journey and made it home much faster than many holy people. How could we not be happy?! It is the grace of God and nothing else that can offer us this disposition of spirit to be able to see his beauty at work even in hardship. This is why we must pray often, cling to our Blessed Mother and go before her Son in the Eucharist to receive the graces and mercy he wishes to pour into our souls!

On a much smaller scale, I've also endured the little sorrows, such as thinking yourself "in love" with someone and being rejected. When our hearts feel so ready to give of themselves and that gift is rejected, it can be such a cross to bear! Satan jumps in with so many temptations of why you must not be good enough, or how the love was never real in the first place, and in fact how all love is a disillusion. He's lying and he's wrong. Tell him to bug off. Or try to teach him the truth, that usually seems to make him flee. Explain how God's love is so perfect that you are grateful for this cross, for this hurt, because it humbles you. As you are humbled, you are able to realize how great, how deep, how wide the Lord's love is for you, because even if you fall so far down and are so small, he can still reach you, and he's still there with you. In fact, you are so deeply drawn into Jesus' sorrowful Sacred Heart in this suffering you experience that you rejoice, and hope that you will be given more opportunities of suffering just so that you are never again separated from His love. Oh! It is so sweet, so real, so beautiful, so alive, how he loves you. It is so comforting, and you are not afraid anymore. Other things that threaten to rock your boat or bring about pain are just opportunities for you to be bathed in the love and mercy of God once more.

The Holy Spirit is the great comforter, the Divine healer, the sweetness of God's love working in our souls. Pray this prayer, and in faith and trust lay youself into the Lord's arms when you are hurting. He will bring you to peace.
"Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created, and you shall renew the face of the earth."

Beatitudes, Part I

I have decided to do a series of short reflections on the beatitudes. I continually feel that through Scripture and the lives of the saints these important words of Christ are reinforced time and again as the pathway to holiness. I would like to share some of this walk with others through discussion.

So let us begin with the words Jesus has for us -

Matthew 5: 1-16

When he saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He began to teach them, saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.
Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father."

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

I think it is a fair place to begin with the example of Mother Teresa. This woman's life was a witness to love, a love that she bore so deeply inside she seemed to be made up of nothing but that love. The Blessed Mother would, of course, be the most perfect example of the poor in spirit. Mary was able to receive the message from the angel who said, "The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you" (Lk. 1:35), because she was so pure that there was nothing taking up space in her other than the readiness to do God's will.

Lives that are fully spent for others, expended to the furthest drop of blood, exhausted to the point of death - these lives are those that burn brightest, that last the longest, that seem to live on decades and centuries after the life is over. They are the ones we praise, we admire, we seek to imitate. They are those who have discovered the true human strength - that of overcoming the self for the sake of love rather than of being conquered by the self for the sake of self-love. One seems so good, to care for and look out for one's own good and own interest, but the other is the one which is heroic and valiant, because it defies what comes to us "naturally" and seeks the better nature that all mankind was given before the fall. These lives have faith that cannot be shaken, and hope that does not disappoint, for they chose to believe fully that it would not. We see miracles happen in their lives and after from their good works, we discover deep sufferings they never complained of or beautiful thoughts and prayers that were never shared, and we marvel at how they could be so free, and so alive. We crave that.

We face a culture that considers the f-word to be common knowledge, and "poverty" to be akin to a curse word. To be poor is to lose all respect, to have no morale, to not be worth someone's time. At most, to be poor is to gain pity. It is never a virtue, and never something to learn from. Then again, culture rarely tells us to "learn" something from anything, because we aren't even humble enough to believe we need to be taught things, much less that if we are in a position where we are being taught things that we could consider it a good thing.

There we find the true thing to pity. Bl. Mother Teresa spoke to this exact problem. She said,  "Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat." Real poverty is when there is too much inside of a heart or soul to be able to open to love, truth, beauty and goodness. It is sad and pitiful, for so many claim that they are full, happy, satisfied, acheiving good things, and yet are struggling and empty of what truly satisfies. The Lord satisfies. His love satisfies. Nothing else.

So what Jesus is speaking to here is not the poverty of hunger or of material things, nor the poverty of the wealthy or lonely who choose not to let him in, but the poverty of a heart that has freely given over themselves to their Lord that he might lead them as he wills.

This is an epic freedom, a total one. It allows the soul to soar to new heights, and the heart to remain steadfast in great trials. It is frightening, at first, to open your heart and soul to this love. It can come as a torrent, sweeping in and taking with it things that we thought we held dear, or things we thought defined us as who we were. It can become a purifying river, that will cleanse us of many things we did not even realize we were clinging too - things that are the building blocks for the walls that will not let God's love in. Yet, when we have the courage to allow this bursting-love to come, to move within us, to take over... we are amazed. Life looks so different through eyes that see it in truth.

This truth is one that recognizes three important things: first, that God is God, Jesus is Lord, the Spirit is our life, and in the Trinitarian love we find our truth, our "why", our purpose, our hope, our reason, our fulfillment. The second is that we are nothing, empty, little, pitiful, sinful, children who rebel and think we deserve good things when in truth our behavior and our lack of love deserve only punishment.  The third is that the Lord's love is merciful, that mercy is actually the active existence of this Love, of him who loves us, and so in reality, the more we recognize our littleness, the more we pray for the grace to be humble, the more we delight in our embarrassments and humiliations, the more we are grateful for every little thing and do not think anything is of our own doing, nor that we deserve any of what we have, the more we can recognize that all of this life is a generous gift, the beautiful and the sorrowful, the more the Lord lavishes his love upon us and delights in our repentence, and refills our souls abundantly with his love.

Moreover, we become addicted to this glory, to the pure peace and hope that comes from being broken and empty, and receiving from him his mercy and love in abundance. Not that we sin more to receive more mercy, quite the opposite! But we are able to see more and more our imperfections and failures, and while we are ashamed and even horrified at how cold and stony are hearts can be, we realize all the more the deep tenderness and gentle love that the Lord pours over us.

In the end this poverty of spirit becomes one continual laughter, a joy that wells up deep within, as we enter into the logic of God. He, who is all powerful beyond comprehension, who holds the universe in his mind and could end it all at any time, He prefers that we have free will. He, though not needing our love at all, desires it to be given to him, freely. He choses that we would have the choice to give him our hearts or to hold them back. He desires that we love like he does, freely, generously. He gives us a lifetime to understand it and so many mercies and graces, people and situations, that we might ever more deeply comprehend how low he has stooped to save us, how far down he has come to be near us, how marvellous his love truly is. So we must laugh, we must giggle, we must rejoice! He is in love with us, stupid, frail and evil though we can be. He still wants us, still yearns for us. His love does not have limits, nor conditions. So we have to laugh, because it would seem that nothing but our own stubborn hate could keep us from him. How ridiculous! We fall at the smallest temptation - we forget him, ignore him, tell him we'll be sorry later, cheat and lie and even hope he won't notice. Yet, there he is, scooping us back into his hands, laying us against his Sacred Heart, softly singing to us of his mercy and love. It almost seems as if we could not escape him if we tried. But we can, and sadly often do.

So let us pray for the grace to be poor in spirit. Whether materially wealthy or not, whether someone who feels close to the Lord or not, whether stuggling with deep rooted issues or feeling happily care free, we all need to be humbled, we all need to pray more, we all need to seek grace and mercy, and we all need to ask God to make us his servants, children and friends.

Let us love one another as Christ first loved us!

I Will Never Have Words

I cannot honestly say the number of times I go to write something about love on this blog and then stop short.

What can I say?

Has not everything that could possibly be said been said already? Even if it had not, how could I presume to have something to add to the castle of thought and literature on this topic that has already been built?

Sometime I think a poem or song would be more managable, because at least in such prose there are some definite boundaries for me to work within. Other times I think just an ongoing list of descriptive adjectives and verbs would suffice. More often, I wish for a palette and every color in existence, so that I can just shade and draw and paint the beautiful explosion of color that I feel communicates what I think about love.

However, since I am not in a place to write poetry, my guitar is not handy and I have no paints or crayons, I will have to accept a feeble attempt with bare words.

The following will sometimes inappropriately use semicolons - ; - please do not hate. It made this easier.

Love. It is guttural and raw; fearsome and blinding; causing you to want to run in the complete opposite direction and hide until the storm passes you by, praying it doesn't notice you shaking there; white light that pierces through your soul, opens up your inner self so far that what you discover you never knew existed within you; purifying, making new over and over and over again; mesmerizing, gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, spellbinding, unhinging, you are left tripping over yourself with a little drool hanging off your lip; enlivening, lifting you up in ever higher concentric circles until all the world is far below and freedom and air and joy and hilarity are all you can sense around you; intoxicating, all that you do, every thought, every choice, every triumph or mistake, every moment is consumed with your love, and the lover - they go with you everywhere, you cannot be alone again, they exist within you and you within them, no distance can separate and no trial can break the "love" that has become its own person, the love that is freely given from one to the other; self-revelatory, clearing away fogs and cobwebs around the heart, breaking into the proverbial "west wing" and discovering the wiltin rose that must be brought to life again; enthralling, leaving the blood in your veins tingling for hours after you encounter love, and causing your heart to leave its common pace and awaken you throughout the night to remind you of the transformation taking place; deadly, in the most serious way - you will awaken as someone new - not that you lose who you are but that you find who you were always meant to be, and this new skin fits better than the old ever could have, and the new eyes you see with understand the world in all the glory you never could perceive before, and the new heart you carry drips with mercy and forgiveness, understanding and compassion, readiness to give of itself at every moment, for you have no way to pay back the gift that has been given to you, that you've received - to way to fulfill the debt of love created when another wholly and completely hands themself over to your miserable and faulty hands; there is no recovery, once you are taken in, and even in the most barren and lonely times, when all the world has failed you and your lover has failed first and foremost, and you are nursing the bitter wounds of your heart in dark places... even then, and perhaps more than ever, does the glory of what love is reveal itself - it is forever, and it cannot be shaken nor destroyed, not drowned nor killed in any way, it will not be deterred and it cannot be taken back - it is the gift that once given, only takes more of the person along with it next time, and more the next, until the only joy the person can experience is when it is giving itself in love; it is more than a habit, more than a virtue, more than a moral code, more than a way of life or a creed, more than a gospel or message, it is a state of being - a single Being (God, Christ, Holy Spirit, Love Himself) - and it is an existence that participates in this being so that the two beings are so united that it is hard to distinguish between them.

Certainly, our human love has far to go before it can ascend these heights, or before it can remain in these heights, or even begin to truly comprehend what sacrifice and self-abandonment is involved with these heights...but what is received, what is gained, what is given as a gift - it is worth everything, more than life itself, for it cannot die, and when we die it lives on, and when we are gone we are not gone at all, for Love has taken us into itself and made a home for us, and we have freely chosen to dwell in Love for all time, and there we are more fully made ourselves than we could ever fathom. "I did not know myself until I was Loved" should be our motto, and it should be renewed every day. Then, moreover, "I did not know myself until I learned to Love in return, to receive Love and then to Love back." This is that starting point, the door that leads to the path where all other journeys and travels converge.

Here we find life, and life in abundance. Because God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son.

Passion

Put your whole heart into it.

One of my favorite verses from the Old Testament was in this Sunday's morning prayer. It's from Ezekiel, 36:25-28. It goes as follows from the Revised Standard Version:

"I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you.
A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will take out of your flesh the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances.
You shall dwell in the land which I gave to your fathers; and you shall be my people, and I will be your God."

The Lord informs us we don't have to do much work to learn how to love. He plans on doing the hard part for us. The New American Bible's version reads, "taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts." This is how we were meant to live, how we were meant to love. With hearts that are real, enflamed with his Spirit and alive in his mercy.

For God to love us is for God to exist. For us to love him in return, and to love others as he teaches us to love them, is for us to receive another great gift from him; a gift of a new heart, a heart that is not afraid.

The Scripture passage that sunk in for me today as we celebrate our Nation's Independence was Galatians 5:1, "For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery." We cannot dwell in fear for one so great as the Son of God himself freely chose to lay down his life on our behalf and to pay the ransom for our sins, that we might be able to walk in his light and receive the gift of salvation.

But we cannot falter when we look upon the gift! It must not blind us with its light, or startle us with its greatness, to the point that we would not want to receive it! We might feel unworthy, and rightly so, for we are. Yet, he has made us worthy. So we cannot push it away, or deny the gift he seeks to give us!

Today in mass I noticed the mother in front of me cover her sons shoulders with her cardigan (it was rather cold in the church). The little boy shrugged it off and looked at her as if to say, "Mom, really?" I know we all get frustrated with loving gestures our moms try to show, but what came to mind after observing this was how often the Lord attempts to love us in just the same way, and how often we too shrug off his gifts and say, "not now" or "it's a little embarrassing right now, God."

He wants us to have hearts that are open to receive. How else can we live? How can we have the hope of growth or change or goodness or virtues or perseverance or victory if we can't open our hearts to love? This beautiful quote was in one of my favorite books of all time, "I Believe in Love." I'm paraphrasing, but it read something like "A holy nun once said to St. Francis de Sales that she wished to learn love through humility. St. Francis replied that he wished to learn humility through love." I found this so striking because it is absolutely humbling when you realize someone loves you, truly. You know your flaws, your failures, how selfish or impatient you can be. You recognize that you don't always have it together and perhaps you never will. Yet, they love you. They choose to love you. They continue to choose to love you day after day, for who you are now, not who you'll be or who you've been. They sincerely appreciate the heart, soul and mind that dwell together in the person that is you. They wouldn't want you any other way. Why? It seems ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. Of course it should humble us. It absolutely should leave us completely dumbstruck, flabbergasted, maybe even spellbound. Ludicrous. It is ludicrous that any heart can fully and freely give itself over to anything another might bring... beauty and pain, joy and sadness, and the greatest risk of abuse or abandonment... while simultaneously the greatest risk of perfect and ever-present fully returned love.

To enter into this, we need rejuvenation. Often. We cannot help but build up defenses. Walls keep the pain out and help us to manage how we encounter life. Yet, these things can greatly hinder us from receiving and giving, and they aren't meant to last. Sometimes they are good or necessary as we work on healing, but the Lord invites us constantly to new freedom, new wholeness, new love; and with that, he offers us new hearts.

So let us learn how to accept from Jesus' hand the heart he offers us, so that in turn we can passionately live this life, fully giving and fully receiving, because our stony hearts have been cast off and our natural hearts are beating fast.

Sincerity in Truth

Just a moment's break from life.

Breath. Think. No, don't think. Just pause.

Two thoughts. First, be real. Clear the air around you. Clear your mind. Swipe away those cobwebs and maybe have a giggle about your coworker tripping on the stairs or something. Relax.
Second, ask a question. When did you last say something true?

When did you last say something true, and when did you last recognize a specific truth?
When did you last stand up for something true?
When did you last become strongly convicted of a truth?

Let these memories rise in you. Be in that place, that time, that emotion.

What was it about that truth that stuck with you? What was it that caused such a reaction in you?
Was it beauty? Was it injustice? Was it something you could empathize with? Did it effect many people?

I feel that many of us do not realize just how influencial truth is in our daily lives. Moment by moment, day in, day out, we are either affirming and asserting truth, or denying or sliding by truth. It is a black and white world. Sometimes the truth is that there are more than one good choices, or more than one bad, and so it would seem there is a gray area. Yet in reality, there is always a way to clear the fog and get the wind moving again, and to then see the truth in it's full light.

I believe awareness of the truth is much like a habit - we form an appetite for it, or a "sense" for it, similar to how we sharpen our peripheral vision once we begin driving. The more we allow our minds to regroup and refocus in various situations, the more we will learn how to sift through the silt in the water and find the diamonds that are buried there.

My hope is to encourage us all to consider each day whether we are building up our truth- gaining ground in the ever-going uphill climb - or whether we are chipping away at the foundation day in and day out. "Little white lies," exaggerations, "jokes" that are never clarified, blurring of the lines of what happened and what we want others to think happened... we all fudge the truth whether we're aware of it or not. The question is, how often do we mean for this to go on, and how often would we go back and clean up our mess if we could? If we decide we want to be people of sincerity, then we need to act like it. This means striving to be aware of the truth and to recognize it, and represent it in its fullness without all of our convenient alterations.

Clearly this isn't always possible, and we can face conflicting truths such as "such and such law" that isn't really just or fair, that if we fudge a little on, we won't be cheated, or we won't be ripped off, etc... Those tough calls we have to decide for ourselves which truth our conscience will be held accountable to. But no matter what, the most important thing is to see it for what it is. Call a spade a spade, not a shovel, not a drill, and certainly not a hammer or nail.

"Don't blatantly lie, don't indirectly lie, and most of all, don't lie to yourself," might be an acceptable creed. Once we allow ourselves to believe lies, we begin to live according to them, and then when we speak them to others or treat others according to our belief that some lie is true...we lose something very precious. We lose reality. Truth is more than a valiant moral code, or a noble ideal for the hopelessly dreamy romantics (although that definitely counts)...it is the air around us, the ground we walk on, the blood coursing in our veins. Truth is undeniable, inevitable, innate, inherent. To exist is to be real. To exist is thus to exist in the truth. We cannot get rid of it even if we wanted to, and to live a life of continually snubbing the truth or outright rejecting it only leads to sadness and despair. No matter how powerful we are, we cannot control the truth. It is bigger than anything we can create or develop. We are born into this world without the option of where we are or even who we are...life itself is a gift given that is unanticipated. So we have to accept that the truth is the ever-present glue of the universe we exist in.

I hope and pray I will continue to challenge myself beyond my weaknesses into greater truth. It is so easy to find shelter in the rationalizations that make the truth a little blurry. The fuzzy truth is sometimes so much more preferable to the hard truth. One is cuddly, the other..isn't. Yet, no life remains wholesome when fuzzy is the foundation. We face a lot of bumping, bruising and falling if we're going to stand on fuzzies for the rest of our lives. We need solid, we need strong, we need real.

Of course I'm going to add that it is Christ who is the Truth, and therefore all the fullness and life-giving joy that we can encounter in our existence is found when we seek him with our whole hearts.

Let us sincerely desire to be in the Truth, and to never be parted from Him.

Fatherhood under Fire?

This is apparently the month of me writing.

The following is a comment in response to certain public declarations made by our President this past weekend: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/president_obama_wishes_you_a_happy_homosexual_fathers_day/

My comment:
Just want to say, my birthday is in June. Therefore, I'm a little possessive. And.. I don't appreciate the TRUTH being turned upside down and then smeared all over my month. Fatherhood is a gift.. given in the image of our Father in heaven, who is love himself. We should never condemn, for we do not have the right and we are all sinners. However, the LORD has given us truths through his Word and through the tradition of the Church, established by his Son, Jesus Christ, and these truths we can proclaim without fear and with fervence. Therefore, the natural order of sexuality as a full and whole gift of self between a man and a woman, for life, is established by Him, not by man. And thus it is not wrong to support this, proclaim it, and be upset and offended when a public figure of authority mocks this truth and presents a falsehood as something to be honored. That is scandal, and it is unacceptable.


C'mon Christians, we celebrate martyrs who wouldn't acknowledge the King of England's "divorce" and who were subsequently beheaded, but we won't publically speak out when another leader chooses to do a slipshot job of morality and we don't face consequences other than people telling us we're not "pc"? Sheesh! Hate the sin, not the sinner. No one should feel attacked, but the truth should be witnessed to, and if that challenges people to change, that is exactly what it should do. We all have to convert, daily, in different ways. We're on a journey together and we should be helping each other along the road.
 
 
(I would love to expound on this further, there are a million and one things to be said on the beauty of human sexuality, the purpose and dignity of marriage, its establishment in Scripture, etc... but those will have to wait. Feel free to visit links and check it out for yourself.)
These are the audiences of John Paul II on the Theology of the Body, chronologically listed: http://www.ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tbind.htm
 
The above with some edits and available in one volume:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0819874213/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?ie=UTF8&cloe_id=503259bd-bd26-432a-8d3d-1811ed9466c0&attrMsgId=LPWidget-A1&pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0819873942&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0KH5TRVBE4NJG9E9HYWP
 
Another good read by John Paul II: http://www.amazon.com/Love-Responsibility-Pope-John-Paul/dp/0898704456/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
 
Moving reflection on the love God has for us and marriage's image of this: http://www.amazon.com/Love-That-Satisfies-Christopher-West/dp/1934217131/ref=pd_sim_b_20
 
Cardinal Medina Estevez's reflection on the Church's teaching on marriage and sexuality - verrrry good: http://www.amazon.com/Male-Female-He-Created-Them/dp/0898709431
 
 
 

Wait in Joyful Hope

I hope that this post will be one many have been waiting for, though perhaps unknownst to them, and that it will bring much joy to the heart... the kind of joy that comes with the peace of Christ, the peace only God can give.

This is what the Christian life is about everyone. It is truly that simple. Of course, the words of Christ echo in our minds, "Be perfect, as my heavenly Father is perfect," and we wonder at him. How could that be possible? How could we even hope to be perfect, we who are so far from God? Then we hear proclaimed over and over, "love one another as I have loved you" and "love your neighbor as yourself" and "the greatest of these is love"... again, this is a theological virtue that comes with grace. How can we be expected to live like this all the time?

But perhaps we can draw from Blessed Mother Teresa here, for she understood how basic this call to holiness was, how truly simple Jesus' message to the human race was. We cannot be gods, nor can we reach the perfection of our Father in heaven... but we can learn from his Son the ways of holiness, by walking the same path he walked, with the same heart he held, one of perfect abandonment, holy trust, full peace at his Father's will. Jesus waited. He did not know his hour, the time or even the way in which he would bring about the Father's will. He waited for it to be revealed to him in the span of time which he lived on earth. Of course, being God himself he could know everything, for he was before all time and space existed, and he will be after all is gone. He is the Alpha and Omega. Yet, he chose, in love, to take humanity upon himself, and in this form of a slave he surrendered himself to a childlike faith in his Father, so that though he could never be separated from him, being the Second Person of the Trinity, he also chose not await revelation of things to his mind according to the Father's will.

Mother Teresa said, "Be humble and you will never be disturbed. It is very difficult in practice because we all want to see the result of our work. Leave it to Jesus." This translates into every area of life - we must expect that even in our journey to holiness, on our walk to the Father, we will be asked to lay down our control, to set aside our plans and our dreams and the ways we think that life should go. We will be asked to get in a boat and see where it lands, and to endure the storms that come up, and to rejoice when the weather is beautiful. We are asked to trust beyond just our family's health or our daily safety. We are asked to trust beyond the things we cannot control anyway. It is more than that. It is meant to be more than that. It must be more than that. We need to trust will ALL the things we can control. Our jobs, our co-workers, our friends, our families, our homes, our cars, our toothbrushes, our sandals, our pillows, our cats or dogs, our coffee...everything. This is how we learn to live as Christ exemplifies, in the same childlike trust and patience.

Moreover, this waiting on the Lord, this trusting and obedience, is hand and hand with two virtues - hope and joy. We wait upon the promises of the Lord, because "he is faithful even when we are unfaithful," and "hope does not disappoint," and "his word does not return void but accomplishes the task for which it was sent." His promises do not let go of us, and his promise is for truth, for love, for life. His promise is for fulfillment in joy, for a return to our home and our Father who loves us. His love bought us at the price of his Son, his Son's love purchased us at the price of his own flesh, his own life. His promise cannot be denied. So our hope is firm, and should grow more firm with every passing moment. As we live, we learn more and more of his goodness, his mercy, his grace working in our lives. This should be testament enough for us to never lose our hope! And this hope, this glorious gift of God, must inspire in us a true joy. Even in the darkest nights and longest struggles, and in the most lonely and forsaken times, joy should be the waves we ride upon because his promise is alive in us, it is Christ the Lord.

Consider Our Lady, Mary most holy, as a young woman who receives a great message of salvation. It is a message of hope, and a promise. Yet, so often we typify her as anxious or nervous, or at least a little fearful, for she could be stoned to death in Jewish law for becoming pregnant illegitimately. Yet, when she is kneeling in her room, surrounded by the glory of the Lord, hearing the sweetness of the angel's words, I do not think there could be any room for fear or doubt. Before that love, all fear is driven out, and all lies of the devil are disspelled. I believe that Mary's fiat was given as one wholly aware of herself, wholly possessing her heart, mind and soul, and yearning to give them to one who was revealing all the love in the world to her! Her Creator was coming to her as a lover, yearning to draw her near to his heart, nearer than she already was, and in response she yearned to give over her obedience, her life, in joy! In joy because what could she fear? What could anyone do to her when God the Father loved her so? What could this life bring that would be too bitter to taste, or too great a climb for her to endure? We know that her life faced perhaps the most bitter climb of all, to be the Mother of the Savior who would lay down his life for all men, and yet she still loved, and still waited, and still trusted, because her hope was God himself, and his promise cannot be broken, and in this her heart and soul found the joy to conquer all the evil of sin.

So my challenge to myself and all Christians is to pray for this grace. We need to seek the grace to practice this kind of faith, one that is hopeful at all times, and through this hope, joyful at each moment.

I know all too well that I fail at this daily. But if I could learn more of the silence, the internal meditation that leads to the awareness of the Lord's love alive and dwelling in me, the Holy Spirit made known in my heart... surely I would find the joy and hope I need in any situation? I believe it to be true, and the truth will set us free. So until that day when we are reunited with our Father, let us wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  


And for fun meditation, a few Scripture passages on "hope" from the RSV:
Matthew 12:21 "and in his name will the Gentiles hope."
Acts 2:26 "therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; moreover my flesh will dwell in hope."
Acts 17:27 "that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel after him and find him. Yet he is not far from each one of us."
Romans 4:18 "In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations; as he had been told, 'So shall your descendants be.'"
Romans 5:4-5 "and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us."
Romans 8:24-25 "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." 
Romans 15:2-3 "'in him shall the Gentiles hope.' May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."
Hebrews 3:6 "but Christ was faithful over God's house as a son. And we are his house if we hold fast our confidence and pride in our hope."
 Hebrews 7:19 "(for the law made nothing perfect); on the other hand, a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God."
Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful;"
Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
1 Peter 3:15 "but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence;"
1 John 3:3 "And every one who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure."

Another Night, Another Dream...

But always you.

I'm a sucker for lyrics. Featured are songs which take over my heart when I hear them, and therefore are a playlist of their very own.

Yellow Card, Only One
"Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you, You are my only one. I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you, You are my only my only one"

Cartel, Only You
"Oh but theres only you yeah its only you, It's only you i see, Girl if its only you yeah its only you, Its only you and me yeah, Can you feel it now, I've weighed it all out, Here and now my world turns inside out"

BedLight for BlueEyes, Walk With Me
"Will you walk with me, Cause I can't see, Just where I'm meant to be, Replay the scene over and over, And never change a thing"

Dispatch, Walk With You
"And I will walk with you, using the stars as guides. On a homeward path we go Knowing our time is nigh I, and I will walk to be with you. All I've done, to be with you... So put your hand in mine, and lay your head to rest. We'll light the candles now - they won't be lit for long we'll know our day was blessed I, and I will walk to be with you. All I've done, all I've done Just to be with you... I, I, And I will walk with you, Using the stars as guides on a homeward path we go, knowin' our time is nigh, I, I will walk to be with you. All I've done, and all I say I, I, To be with you, to be with you, to be with you"

Backstreet Boys (judge me), Incomplete
"I'd try to go on like I never knew you, I’m awake but my world is half asleep, I pray for this heart to be unbroken, But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete"


Dave Barnes, Until You
"I need you now and forever so stay right here with me, Don't ever leave, Love was kept from me like a secret, And I swore that I was through until you, Until you"

Josh Groban, Remember
"Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, in your memory, Remember, when your dreams have ended, Time can be transcended, just remember me, I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly, It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun, I'm with you, Whenever you tell, my story, Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, in your memory, Remember me, I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers, And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky, As long as I still can reach out, and touch you, Then I will never die, Remember, I'll never leave you, If you will only, Remember me"

Leona Lewis, I See You
"You teach me how to see, All that’s beautiful, My senses touch your word I never pictured, Now I give my hope to you, I surrender, I pray in my heart that this world never ends, I see me through your eyes, Living through life flying high, Your love shines the way into paradise, So I offer my life, I offer my love, for you"

Paramore, We Are Broken
"Keep me safe inside, Your arms like towers, Tower over me, Tower over me, And I'll take the truth at any cost"

The Rocket Summer, So, In This Hour
"So much feeling, Oh, my soul is singing, And everybody feels the same, Is this everything that you've hoped for? Is this everything you've dreamed? I think it is, If the real point is seen, So in this hour, Everything I do, Will be all for this moment, Everything's for you, My heart is open, And willing, So take it"
Something I love most about music like this is that so often lyrics speak on many levels, from more obvious situations of love among couples or friends or families to the deepest sense of love, between God and his children. It seems to me a testimony of the truth that He is Love, and that his love is the foundation that underlies our every desire in this life.

Reflection of the Year

Ok, I'm 24.

Let's talk about some of the funny/weird things of the past year...
1. I have sunburned hands and feet... thank you antibiotic that makes me burn.
2. I went to haiti and found a giant spider, sang "hey soul sister" a million times, bathed in a river every day, became far more tan than I've been since I was in high school and actually had time for laying out, prayed with haitians, tried to learn creole, had paint wars with friends, heard some of the most ridiculous conversations of my life, smiled all the time, saw the "old spice commercial" come to life when my friend was on a horse, and rode horses mostly bareback, ending with a large and unfortunate blister somewhere rather painful...
3. How 'bout, I went to Haiti. And I'm going back. In December.
4. I have an infection from being in Haiti that has been akin to leprosy, just peeling layers of skin over and over again. This is why I have the sun-burning antibiotic.
5. I saw Celtic Woman in concert. I laughed and cried. It was beautiful.
6. One of my best friends is getting married in October.
7. Three close friends up and quit their jobs and made life changes. I'm proud of them! It takes courage to trust and be faithful to your heart, and if you aren't in a good situation, then get out.
8. My sister came to live with me for 7 weeks! I love her. It is wonderful.
9. My dad wrote me a letter that made me cry. I love him so much. He is my hero.
10. My mom and I are much closer than we've been in a long time. I am so thankful for that!
11. I finished a year of grad school, one more to go starting this fall. My classes are amazing, and definitely challenging. I love reading. I love writing. I wish they'd give me A's but oh well... at least I'm realizing that "professional student" is probably my best job option.. if there was such a thing! :)
12. I continue to learn more about why I am so much a girl and yet so anti-girly.
13. Up with how much I dislike inconsistency is how much I dislike cliche. I also deeply dislike hypocrisy, duplicity and dishonesty. That being said, I have to always work on not being caught in those myself. It's always the things we see in others that bug us most that are usually what we ourselves are most tempted to. Moreover, I dislike attitudes that dislike things in general... why?! Why not be grateful. You have no choice, you know, in living. I mean, you either give up and die, or you live. Black and white as far as it goes. So if you are going to be alive, you really might as well appreciate things, and try to see the good, rather than be in a constant state of desparity and despondency, or anger and resentment. If you're in that state because of actual depression, please seek help! And if you're not sure what to do, start with claiming things. Give them less power over you. Tell those feelings to bug off. You are in charge of yourself, I promise. (Ever see the Labyrinth? I'm sure they weren't going for analogy there, but really, the little girl learning to claim "you have no power over me" is a decisive point. That's an important lesson for people who feel like their world is out of their control.) Anyway, this was a huge tangent...
14. I was in New York, Maryland, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, Indiana, Washington DC, New Jersey, Delaware, Colorado and Ohio so far this year. Internationally I was in Austria (Gaming and Vienna) in the fall and Haiti in May.
15. I've been kayaking probably three times since it's been warm this spring/summer? I love it.
16. Went hiking in Shenandoah National Park! Did not see any bears...
17. I'm redeading Lord of the Rings... I have forgotten how absolutely beautiful these stories are! They are amazing parallels for many life lessons, and I keep drawing strength from my figurative solidarity with the characters as they face so many challenges with determination and faithfulness.
18. I am beginning to realize I love many things. Sometimes this is wonderful, and sometimes it makes me crazy. But it is intrinsic, imperative, innate and all together necessary to my person.
19. I read a book called "The Portal of the Mystery of Hope" by Charels Peguy, and I loved it. It changed me.
20. I have discovered that I love von Balthasar and Ratzinger as much as any theologians I've ever read. Possibly as my favorites.
21. Nothing is ever going to be a good bottle of water.
22. Summers in Virginia are definitely more intense than in Ohio. I love it. I'm also grateful that all the "we-never-get-snow-sayers" were incorrect the winter I moved here. Thank you snowpocalypse!
23. I plan on learning the piano and German this summer. I also have a book list that I will never finish... Let's hope I actually do some of it!
24. I have made some new friends this year, and I am so thankful. They are excellent people.
25. Rereading the Book of Job (Scripture) is great. Painful, but so beautiful.
26. A day without mass or adoration is... really empty. That is a grace! The Lord draws us closer when we ask, and I want to keep on asking :)
27. Life is good. We should never doubt that.
28. I lost my high-heel shoe while jay-walking across a four-lane busy street in DC... the result was me picking up my shoe and running across the street in a skirt ... into a snow bank.. (thank you snowpocalypse) and nearly dying. Did I clean off my dirty foot in the snow? Of course I did.
29. I've been converted (a little) to gmail.. I like that conversations can be seen piled one-on-top-of-the-other... much easier to read.
30. My family is amazing. I love them. My sibilings are hysterical, and we all get along so well (most of the time). I miss them always.

Ok, I know there are plenty of other things that have gone on but 30 seems like plenty of memories... in fact, I probably should have stopped at 24! Oh well. :)

Thank you God for the gift of LIFE, and we pray for all those who may be denied that gift, and for those struggling to realize that gift.

Life Under Design

Wanted to make a quick plug for a great site - it's called LifeUnderDesign, and it's the Pro-Life Secretariat's Youth website. I'll be honest and say it's certainly out of date as far as recent news goes, but the information concerning some of the more imporant things, like facts on contraception, abortion, etc... are relevant and useful. The site itself is colorful and interactive... reminds me of the Trader Joe's website if you've ever gone there. :)
Check it out!

http://lifeunderdesign.com/

Life Under Design is now on facebook too, so become a fan!

Modern Day Pharisees?

Every Friday this school year, and there's only one more, I read Sunday's Gospel to my students. We discuss it as much as we can given the age group, and then color a corresponding coloring page. (psssst--Catholic educators and Moms: Sunday's Gospel coloring pages and word searches can be found at www.catholicmom.com. The site sucks otherwise. It's run by a group I'm not at all a fan of).

Anyway, this week's Gospel talks about Jesus dining at a Pharisee's house, some chick waltzing over the His feet, pouring oil all over them, crying on them, and getting her hair into an even hotter mess by wiping Jesus' feet with it. The Pharisee gets his panties in a bunch because Jesus is dealing with a sinful woman, Jesus tells them woman her sins are forgiven, tells the Pharisee that the Father rejoices when a sinner returns, and that's that.. To put it bluntly.

I am not going to take the typical "God forgives sinners," "No sin is too big," Kumbaya approach that I'm sure most clergy preached from the pulpit this weekend.

I pray that we all know that already.

No, my friends and fellow religious zealots, this one is for us.

The Pharisees get a terrible reputation in the Gospels. Jesus is constantly talking smack about them and--duh--rightfully so. But we need to remember to not become modern day Pharisees.

Gasp!

I would NEVER!

Not so quick, chicken.

The Pharisees were Jews who knew their stuff and studied their faith diligently.

Sound familiar? Is the Summa Theologica within view? How about the Catechism? How about Biblical commentary? Don't lie...

The Pharisees took their beliefs very seriously and were very vocal about it. (side note: It is believed that a Pharisee wrote the books of Maccabees. Pretty cool, huh? )

EWTN anyone?

What I'm trying to say here is this: It is great to take one's faith seriously, but to be altogether judgey just isn't kosher... Pun intended... We can all make contributions to society and to the Faith without shoving it down other peoples' throats. The Lord isn't asking us to wear a sandwich board and walk down the streets, warning people about the end of time (I never saw that walking down University Blvd in Steubenville or anything... Lies...). However, He is asking us to preach in our actions. Effective evangelization consists of the fewest words possible in my experience. To quote that corny church song (... and John's Gospel), "They will know we are Christians by our love." To love every person genuinely--whether he or she is your best friend or a stranger on the street--is to be a Christian. I know I am constantly guilty of wondering about the hear-after whereabouts of Obama shirt-wearing individuals, and that's just plain NOT what Jesus wants us to do. He tells us CONSTANTLY to NOT JUDGE (Matthew 7:1, Luke 6:37, 1 Cor. 4:4, James 4:11).

Let's not be modern-day Pharisees, K? We can certainly pray for those who do not make the same decisions as us, but love them anyway. You never know when your love, (and not condemnation) will bring them to a beautiful reunion with the King of Kings.

PS-Check out my primary blog: Expensive Wine and Cheap Cheese :)

Sacred Heart of Jesus

I could not fail to write something on the Feast of the Sacred Heart!

However, brief meditation seems to be in order. No book-writing today.
(PS - Britt, thanks for your post! Those are two books I do mean to read.)

John 13:23-26
"One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, was reclining at Jesus' side. So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant. He leaned back against Jesus' chest and said to him, "Master, who is it?" Jesus answered..."

Contextually, this is not about a great devotion to the Sacred Heart. This is the beginning of the revelation of the Passion that Christ will endure. Judas is about to betray Christ, and John in his Gospel is going to recount the beautiful prayer Jesus offers to his Father on behalf of those he loves.

Yet, to be John at this moment. To be so close, so intimate with this man who is all things to all people, who is man and God, the perfect man and more than man and yet truly man... Jesus himself. To lie back against his chest, to hear his Heart beat. To feel his Heart beat, for you know if you've been so close to someone's chest you certainly can feel the beating.

Before the great challenges of life come our way, before giant waves crash and thunder rolls in and the earth itself shakes... we need to allow that gentle rhythm to sink into us, to permeate us so that peace is what we find our strength in, and not just any peace, but the peace of the Sacred Heart.

John is the one who manages to follow Jesus all the way to the Cross, and to stand before his Lord as he dies, and to accept his Mother from him. John somehow had this grace to be faithful to this Lord whom he loved, and it seems to me that if we yearn to do the same and to be faithful in our lives to Jesus, we too must find ways to lean against his chest and listen to his Heart.

St. Margaret Mary Alacoque has a beautiful noven to the Sacred Heart which St. Padre Pio prayed everyday for the intentions of those who asked him. http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/heart/sh_novena.htm
"Sacred Heart of jesus, I place all my trust in you."

Miss me yet?

The blog looks spankin.' LOVE it.

I am a teacher for the next 8 days. Then I will figure out the next step in my life. I am having the same feeling I did when I was graduating college... I have an idea of what I want to do... It's just not set in stone yet. But, let's be honest, with the right attitude, things always work out.

This got me thinking about new chapters in life. When is it time to turn the page of one chapter and crack open the pages of a new one? When does being miserable in one stage of life force you to to embark on a brand new journey? When is enough enough?

God made us to be happy. The common misconception of today's society is that we need to be in bliss 24/7, having as much fun as we can possibly fit into the 24 hours of every day.

What is happiness?

Well, I could literally write a book about it, but unfortunately for me/fortunately for you, it's already been done.

My summer reading recommendations are:



AND




Happiness and freedom go hand-in-hand. Check out these titles and I promise your life will be forever changed...

Trust me.

Baci,
Britt

Steppin into some Shoes

I'm turning 24 soon.

It's right around the corner. This is the first time since I turned 21 that I can remember being really excited to grow older. It's stupid, I know, but 22 and 23 were years where there was a lingering attachment to the things of "youth" (especially college). Not that I feel any less free to be silly or childlike - in fact, all the more reason to keep a childish spirit! Yet, I do feel very confident that growing up a little more is a healthy and good thing.

We all say, "when I grow up I want to be..." Often we discover that those plans didn't come through, and where we are is not where we planned in our 8 year old minds. What I'm discovering, and what I think most of us know all along inside, is that it isn't so much the what of our lives, but the who, that is the defining character. It makes far greater sense, when you think about it, to measure our lives according to our personal growth and human development over our physical or material accomplishments in our society. The social maze has walls, limits, boundaries, etc... Certain degrees mean you can do certain things, specific work experience means you can move on to a better place, etc... It really is the game of Life out there, where you start with your little car and hope that you end up with the family, the job, the high salary, etc...

The game of Life, however, does not include personal strength, growth, virtues, or even happiness. It does not reveal to us how our internal castle is what we really spend our time on, where we really put our work into. Many "great" people in history have said things like "they can take my home or my family or my wealth but they cannot take my faith." The point is that there is an impenetrable fortress within each and every one of us, and it is our hearts, our minds, our wills, our dreams and hopes, our desires, our fears, our loves. We can choose to build the gardens and towers and halls of this fortress, or we can neglect it and allow the flowers to whither and the halls to decay. It only makes sense to continue to build it up, to foster it and till the soil, because within our hearts we cannot reach boundaries - there are infinite leagues to cover, infinite heights to climb, infinite depths to discover. In the world we will eventually be defeated, if not by the systems in place then by our own old age and eventual inability to work or even function. We remain limitless on the inside, able to ever-access the beauty and freedom of love.

So as I approach another year of life, I reflect on the dreams I've held for myself. I consider how many have not been accomplish, but how some have that I never imagined at all. I am surprised by my life as it is - this isn't what I had anticipated. Yet, I am grateful, for the steady building of my interior castle continues, and has perhaps been made more easy and more successful by the many steps that have lead me to this job I work and the classes I take and the people I live with.

What I resolve myself to for this coming year is to never measure myself by the ruler of the world. I am going to always fall short compared to some, and ever look impressive compared to others. It makes no sense and it is more often defeating than encouraging. I like to dream big and I do not want to stop. I want to trust my heart with all the reckless abandon I can muster, and throw myself into the winds of hope to see where I fly.

I know I am going to face greater stresses, bigger challenges, deeper wounds and harder climbs as life moves forward. I have greater responsibilities and more cares every day. These cannot control me or dominate my thoughts, however, and I implore others to do the same. Cast all the fear and anxiety away. Give it in faith to the Lord. It is not only the only way to live freely, but also the only way to grow as we ought. We need to ever remain God's little children, who trust and expect him to provide for our every need, both in the order of grace and in the order of the world. He will never leave us orphans, and so in confidence we should strive ever more to apply our whole hearts to every thing, every person, every challenge, every moment, every day.

I am going to be stepping into some new shoes very soon, and I plan on running with them. 

Manhood

I promised I would write something about this topic, but I really do not have much wisdom (especially since I am not a man). However, for what it's worth I will share some thoughts:

I will begin with a few examples who are the standards I hold men to- Jesus, and my dad.
Yes, without question I am a "daddy's girl," but mostly because the two of us have always been able to understand each other well, and I typically have been the translator for my family, i.e: "what dad is trying to say...", "what she meant dad was that...", etc... :) With many children and many different tempers, we've needed to learn communication skills over and over again.

But that is tangental other than to make the point that if it wasn't heretical to idolize my father, I would. And in many ways I do, though not often intentionally. I am blessed beyond words because God our Father has allowed me to experience so much of his Fatherly love and goodness through my earthly father, which so sadly is not the case for many people today. Ever since I was little I remember my dad fasting often for our family and for other intentions. He put us to bed so often with the rosary. He had us watching saint movies and reading saint books. He worked long hours and then took care of my mom (who was ill for many years) and all of us (I have 7 siblings). Sure, we ate a lot of mac n' cheese, grilled cheese and hot dogs - probably not the most ideal diet. Overall, my dad laid down his life for us in dramatic ways all the time, and it was very clear to me as I reached my teenage years exactly how sacrificial he was. There was nothing he would not do for us. As I grew older, the analogy of my dad's ongoing gift of self and all of his time, energy and love was more and more evident. God, our Father, loved me in just such a fashion, although infinitely more strong! I know my dad would fight anyone to the death to defend me from harm. And my true Father would do the same, although magnified to a strength that is beyond our comprehension!

Now for a moment on Christ. Jesus is ever the humble servant, the child who has acknowledged his Father as the one who gives him everything, and in return, gives himself wholly over to his Father's will. He is the child who patiently accepts every challenge and suffering, never demanding recompense or expecting an easy pass through some trial. He sees himself as a slave before he considers himself God, though he is. His humility is the greatest strength that exists, for it ever defeats satan's evil works of pride and then defeats death itself! This is the purity of heart that every Christian is called to learn and posses. To know ourselves also as children of God who have received all from him and thus give all back to him. To be children who do not whine and complain as if we ever deserved any of the good things we're given, but to be children who praise and thank our Father in all things, good and bad. To be children who acknowledge our need for grace to presevere and who seek the support and aid of our Father in all things, always striving for him to be more loved, more known, more praised.

So I see the ideal of "manhood" as one which incorporates and balances these two great goods: strength and humility. The kind of strength that may waiver, but never fails. The strength that is made from humility. The strength that knows its greatest asset is the strength to let go, to lay down, to sacrifice and give up everything. The strength that knows it is a tool possessed by a heart that loves, and never the one who posseses. The strength that is not the identity of the man but the gift the man has to offer because he himself received it as a gift, and will ultimately return it back to its Maker. The humility to know oneself before the Lord, or to never cease to strive to know oneself better. The humility to acknowledge defeat, but to never despair. It is more than just humility, it is poverty of spirit. It is purity in the heart that sees with the eyes of faith. Faith reveals the goodness and love of God at every turn, every impass, every mountain and valley. The more simple and pure the heart, the more easily comes the prayer of thanksgiving and praise at all times, whether in the heights of joy or the valleys of sorrow.

I think of Aslan (The Chronicles of Narnia), or Aragorn (Lord of the Rings), male figures who understand the balance between shining strength that leads others to greater love and goodness, and the humility to be seen as weak, even mocked or despised, and yet triumphing in those times.

Now, is it in any way fair to say "the true man is like Christ"... yes. Certainly, no one is going to fill those shoes fully, and for many it is just a beginning of trying to get the shoe on that takes the whole lifetime. That is the point, however: the ongoing willingness to keep getting up, the goal at the end that is ever before the eyes of the man. As St. Paul says, he "runs the race" - it is not an instantaneous achievement or a personality one is born with. The world is diverse, man is diverse, and his call to holiness comes in many shapes and sizes and cannot be detailed out in a simple sentence. Yet, it is the call that is answered that is so surely formed in the image of Christ. It is the heart that is open to hear the call, the soul that is burning to follow the one who calls. It is the Christian journey for all people, but men are so often needed to lead that journey, to bring along many others with them. We are human. We sin, we fail, we get disappointed and depressed, we lose faith and sometimes even hope... but if we are striving to be humble children, hope will not disappoint, and God will always triumph, and as we pass through the purifications of life, we grow ever more into his image.

In some practicality, I believe true manhood is often marked by honesty, sincerity, courage, patience, generosity, and certainly mercy. Forgiveness comes hand-in-hand with humility. If we are quick to learn we will be quick to be forgiving. St. Francis of Assisi's prayer for peace says, "it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life." That beautifully summarizes how mercy itself is the active verb of love. Love in action is mercy. We forgive, we let go, we strive to forget as God forgets. He does not keep tally of our many offenses, but wipes them away as if they never happened once we come to him in the Sacrament of Reconciliation... and so should our hearts yearn to love, in a way that is actively merciful.

I believe for many women, trust is a very hard challenge. We are living in a culture that preaches the greatness of individualism, and no matter how we were brought up, we cannot escape some formation in that mentality. It is one of self-reliance, and one that does not consider "trust" to be a wise move. You wouldn't leave anything valuable out in the open because you never know who will steal it. It is a mentality that assumes the worst and thus expects it, and therefore cannot be surprised or disappointed when it happens. Trust, as God proclaims it, is quite the opposite. It calls for blind obedience, hoping without any assurity that what you believe will be real. We are asked to take God for his Word and believe it, come what may. This virtue must be present in healthy relationships between men and women, and it is often hard for both to learn how to rely on one another in a deeply trusting way. It's easy to adapt to spending time together or sharing thoughts and ideals and dreams, but it is very different to let down the walls and unmake the barriers we all construct as we grow up in this world. Men, therefore, make trust far easier when our hearts encounter these virtues in them. We we recognize their honesty, their truth, their mercy, their fidelity, their humility... we see what our faith teaches is worthy of resting-in, worthy of being a part of. That is a great grace in manhood, to be able to help foster trust that is real and deep.

I would also say that a great threat to "the ideal manhood" is laziness or despondency. I have many friends who are men and five brothers, and from all of my experiences with them, I can say that most men come alive at a challenge, and love to be needed in a way where they have some control or power. These come in many different forms, for some men I know are great with counseling and understanding the situations of life, and they come into their own when you seek their advice or aid, and others it is practical things like fixing a door or putting a bike together that they are delighted to be needed in such a way. No matter what the gift or talent that they are most alive in, men need to be needed and they need to be able to give. Just as women find a deep sense of what it is to be feminine through the sacrifice and gift of self in child bearing and raising, so men find the same understanding of what is masculine in the sacrifice and gift of self for others, especially family or friends. It is important, then, to appreciate them often, and be grateful for their service and leadership. It is also important to ask for their help and give them ways to take a stand and be strong. The man that is least satisfied is the one with little to do and no one to care. It seems like an ideal vacation, but there is emptiness down that road, and it is not one that leads anywhere.

This has been a very idealistic and abstract reflection, but we are speaking of something very universal, and particulars are challenging. St. Paul says to imitate Christ, and moreover to imitate him, that we might greater imitate Christ. This is perhaps a simple key for men to greater learn what good things God has set out for them in this life - to reflect on Scripture and discover the mysteries and adventures God has called them to, and in what ways they can ever more come to know their Father and be like Jesus, the pure and humble Son.

Pope Benedict XVI Reflects on Humanity

Some short quotes from Pope Benedict XVI:

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"Of ourselves, we cannot come to terms with ourselves. Our I becomes acceptable to us only if it has first become acceptable to another I . We can love ourselves only if we have first been loved by someone else."
"... it is only when life has been accepted and is perceived as accepted that it becomes also acceptable. Man is that strange creature that needs not just physical birth but also appreciation if he is to subsist. If an individual is to accept himself, someone must say to him: 'It is good that you exist' - must say it, not with words, but with the act of the entire being that we call love. For it is the way of love to will the other's existence and, at the same time, to bring that existence forth again."
"We receive our life not only at the moment of birth, but every day from without - from others who somehow pertain to us. Human beings have their selves not only in themselves but also outside of themselves: they live in those who love them and to whom they are 'present.' "
--- All quotes used in Peter Cameron's editorial in the April 2010 edition of Magnificat. All quotes attributed to Pope Benedict's earlier writings.

Haiti, mwen renmen ou! (Haiti, I love you!)

This is me with Eurie, a little boy whose parents and baby sister were killed in the earthquake. He now lives at Moving With the Spirit's orphanage with his older brother and sister. He is a joy, a child who smiles at everything and laughs even more! This little one was so full of worms when the missionaries found him that he was lethargic and unhappy, and far too skinny. Since they gave him the proper medicine, he has become a different child, and clearly he's not having any trouble eating anymore :)

My heart misses him deeply.